In the interests of fair and impartial journalism (something I'm accused of on occasion) I'm not going to make any assumptions about the flavour of the new Coors Clear Beer product until I've tried it.
But I'll be very clear about one thing, I'm not impressed with how it's being portrayed in the press, it's designed to get women into beer? Oh please!
Despite the long hair, addiction to hilariously high heels and obsession with big earrings I balance that out with other areas of my life; most of my mates are lads, I play cricket and go fishing for fun and, of course, I do that most unfeminine of things, I enjoy a pint!
God, my mother must be so ashamed of me - or would be if she didn't now drink beer herself, in the golf club and everything! The shame!
I mean, seriously, what the hell is wrong with this world? We seem to be going completely backwards in the journey to bring the sexes closer together - and I don't mean I think I'll ever be able to lift, punch or run as well as a bloke but I damn sure know I don't need a product that's been designed for my delicate little tastebuds!
And do you know what really riles me about the way it's focusing on the beer being in bottle & clear making it, allegedly, spike-proof? It paints women as victims that something just hasn't happened to yet.
Please don't get me wrong, I will not make light of drinks being spiked in a pub - it happened to me once in a club, it was terrifying and I had a lucky escape - but is this how you want to portray beer? That it has to be clear so you're safe? Christ, I may never leave the house again!
How about designing trouser pockets to be clear so we can check people aren't carrying knives? Or transparent backpacks so we can be sure no one's carrying a bomb? And perhaps we could all embrace our inner 80s and start wearing jelly shoes again for the good of society?!
I am not a victim, I am someone who is more than capable of finding my way around the range of products on offer out there and navigating whatever life throws at me with luck, and I don't spend every waking minute looking over my shoulder in case the boogie man is coming to get me - if I do that, someone might spike my drink when I'm not looking!
And I find it interesting/depressing this move appears to coincide with a very long-standing beer education programme & PR campaign coming to a close. What? Job done? I don't think so.
Do I think that the population as a whole could know more about beer? Yes I do.
Do I believe that women have been disenfranchised by the beer market? Indeed, so let's educate them.
Am I going to back a product that seeks to collectively pat women on the arse and tell them type up the minutes neatly? No I'm bloody well not.
I am inexpressibly furious with this launch - it's almost more insulting than Eve, which at least pins its colours to the mast and says it's a patronising piece of crap. Hell they haven't even got the guts to call it a malt-based beverage, for fear of scaring the living daylights out of us girlies!
This is a negative story and not one I'm thrilled the new group Dea Latis is associated with either - just to be clear, (no pun intended) my understanding of our group has always been about getting more women to enjoy the beers that are out there, to embrace the fabulous brewing and diversity of craft brews and heritage we already have, to stop patronisation and gender bias in the beer market.
This is not helping...
P.S. when I said high heels I don't mean the ones pictured, I just thought that, somehow, there was a correlation between the two products...