Saturday, 15 August 2009
Biblically Bad Faux Beer Launch Iminent
Carlsberg looks set to unleash Eve, the female-targeted 'near-beer', on the UK market.
Now, I've already dissected MolsonCoor's recent trial of a similar product, so before I comment on this latest development here are the tasting notes on Eve from my good friend Laurent:
"3.1% ABV, very syrupy, very sweet, pinkish and bubbly, with an overpowering chemical fruit taste. The front half of one's tongue is coated with the agressive sweet fruitiness (feels like your tastebuds are dying one-by-one, blown up by the flavouring's overkill...), and the back half of the tongue does not send any signal, as if it was dead.
"Indeed, no bitterness to be expected from lychee or passion fruit flavours, but they even managed to produce a grapefruit taste completely devoid of bitterness... grapefruit being by far the less offensive of the three (yes, I've tasted actually all three, and it's not a nice recollection).
"Hops ? no perceptible hops... taste of the base beer ? No taste recognisable as such, no trace of yeast, fermentation, anything reminiscent of beer..."
Mmm, doesn't Eve sound yummy?!
I had read an article in Brewer's Guardian that mentioned this product but hadn't heard anything about it potentially hitting the UK until Laurent sent me this link to a design agency's website, where they are giving it large about the creative they've come up with for the product, so I think it's safe to say that it's just about to come to our stores.
Do you know what really cheeses me off though, is that when they launched the Jacobsen range a few years ago I had women going mad for the Bramley Wit, it was delicious! Put out of your minds the taste of Applebocq , this was a deliciously well-balanced, very slightly tart (in that really good apple sauce way), a nice coriander & orange peel aspect you'd expect and a fabulous body with lingering wheaty-apple notes - not to mention wonderful glassware and a beautiful bottle.
It was a craft-brewed product from their microbrewery in Coppenhagen and ticks all the bloody boxes about what people want more of from their beer, artisan brewed etc.
But, maybe I'm just being that little bit too radical again so thank you Carlsberg, it's just as well you're here to remind us ladeez not to get too big for our britches on the flavour front.
You've caught us just in time because us girlies were just beginning to take our tastebuds out of saccharine atrophy, so thank you for putting us right back into our sweet little fluffy, sparkly-pink boxes.
Anyway, I simply must dash now, there's ironing, cleaning and baking to do before the man of the house gets back from the football...
(image from www.StarvetheBardies.com)